Short One Liners Jokes

The way to really pack a punch with your comedy is to use short one liners jokes.

In fact short one  liners jokes are often the best. Many people will recognise some of your short one liners jokes, like ‘Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be’ but will find them funny time after time. The good thing about short one liners jokes is that groups of friends like to repeat them and still laugh at them.

Short one liners jokes often pose as advice for life. Some short one liners jokes take a well-known motto and change it, and you can often think of these yourself. When people fail, you can cheer them up with short one liners jokes giving advice like ‘If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is definitely not for you.’ Or, while everybody is in a panic, you could point out that he who smiles in a crisis has found somebody to blame. Short one liners jokes at these times might not make you popular but they’ll make you laugh and could lift the mood.

Why not help those who come to you for guidance, with the infallible tip ‘To be sure of hitting your target, shoot first then call whatever you hit the target’? If you’re worried about your teenagers thinking of joining the army, point out in short one liners jokes that cowards live longest, and also that war doesn’t determine who is right but only who is left.

Perhaps your children are torn between watching TV and pinching your laptop, so you could keep your tech to yourself by letting them know in short one liner jokes that a television can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer. When they come to you for cash, point them in the direction of the bank with short one liner jokes about how banks are places that lend you money so long as you can prove you don’t need it. Or send them off to others, saying they should borrow from pessimists as they won’t expect the money back. If they complain you have a treasure trove of short one liner jokes to rely on, like ‘If the world didn’t suck we’d all fall off.’

They say women are attracted to funny men, but take care when using short one liner jokes for this purpose. Some of the worst chat-up lines are short one liners jokes that are definitely to be avoided. The worst short one liners joke in this situation would surely be ‘Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?’ although it could be hilarious if said by a woman instead.

Short one liners jokes like this could also be funny from a group of friends watching failed chat up attempts, as would ‘There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.’ You could also use short one liner jokes to help you end a relationship by sounding a little crazy. Try short one liners jokes like ‘The voices in my head may not be real, but at least they have good ideas.’ Whatever the situation you can find short one liners jokes to raise a laugh or even to lighten the mood. It’s well worth keeping a good store of short one liners jokes for every occasion.

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